Saturday, November 14, 2009
My Baby Boy is 5 today!
How is this possible? That five years have slipped by and I feel as if I haven't been able to savour my sweet boy as often as I have longed to? Having kids is a magnified insult as to how fast life flies past us. Of course, when one is sleep deprived, the time cannot move quickly enough, but when I think of all the moments of heaven we have shared with Oslo, I cannot believe he departed babyhood, and even toddlerhood as speedily as he did. Has he no remorse? Does he not understand that I loved those chubby delectable thighs, that sweet teetering waddle, his pronunciation of hello (heyoh) and how he shrieked "hiding!" when he thought we couldn't see him, but there he was, out in the wide open?
But then I think of what an amazing child he has turned into, and I know I cannot regret this passing from baby into boy, for he really has become a special person. He has changed from a handful to a hugful. He is so keen to learn, and intensely loving (on his terms - like a cat). I love the ideas that spill from his quirky and unending imagination, the way he words how he much loves me. I adore that he draws me pages of hearts for he knows I adore and collect them, and shouts "X, O" for kiss hug to his Daddy as he cycles away in the mornings. I adore how gentle he is with the cats now (as opposed to sitting on them which is what he did as a baby). And I cannot get enough of his complex stories that accompany his Lego creations. I adore listening to how he helps and plays with Indigo especially beautifully in the early mornings or just before going to sleep. I love that he pulls me so close at night and won't let me go, and asks for me to take photos of him all the time in the maddest poses. I love how he strips naked as soon as he gets home and that his fashion sense when he does wear clothes is really rather tragic. I love his eyes, his skin, his voice, his bum. I love his excitement when he feels proud and his wise soul that is hidden behind those mischievous eyes.
So yes, of course I yearn to hold onto that tiny squidgy baby, but that is why I take photos - to remind myself of the tiny chubster he once was. But for here and now, for today, I welcome this new stage in his life and, while savouring the past in my memory, I wait with baited breath to see what future holds for this wonderful boy
Oslo - you filled a space in my heart I didn't know was empty, but since you have been with us, you keep filling me up deeper and fuller every day. You never cease to amaze me and with your you-ish ways, you help me become the person I have always aspired to be.
Happy 5th birthday my love.