Indigo the Ballerina

I signed Indigo up for ballet in the autumn as a few of her friends were in the class. But after I had to cough up the cash for the classes, as well as the not-so-cheap all pink shoes, leotard and ballet skirt, I had visions of the bottomless pit of money sucking that this little activity would become, for this was only one class now but the older they get, the more classes they take and soon you are buying dozens of costumes and tickets for the show every year. So over the Christmas holiday, I was going to cancel the class and nip that future of poverty in the bud. That was until she mused on how much she missed ballet. She didn't pine for anything else that holiday. Just ballet. So of course, I ignored my terror of the cash sucking beast it would become, and signed her up for the following term, and then the one after that. And on Friday night, and again last night, she performed in her very first dance shows. As Ben, Oslo, Tin Tin and I sat in the audience watching, my heart was swelling to bursting point. I had intended on looking at all her little friends as well, but I couldn't see them - I was so blinded by my mama-bear love for my own offspring. I really did want to look at the others, but my eyes were perma-fixed on Indigo. I was mesmerised by how confident she was. Unlike me, she is rather shy in social situations, yet on stage, infront of hundreds of people, she glowed. Her confidence and pride spilled off the stage, into the audience and straight into me and made me want to burst open. And in those moments, I realised it was not money down the drain at all, but rather the plug was in and everything was filling up and washing over the edges, into the wings, into the darkness and Indigo spread her sweet little pointy-toed light on everything around her. And at the end of her dance, I saw her see us there in the audience, waving wildly, and she smiled a wry smile, just content and proud that we saw her shine so very very brightly.

Just the process of her getting dressed into her costume was itself was such a sweet ritual to be a part of. From the tying of her bows on her tiny slippers to the adjustment of her glittery head band, it all had to be just right.

Hello cute little hot pink sticky out tutu! Indigo decided the best way to show off her costume to me was to jump on the bed.

On the day of her show, her foot spontaneously started hurting. "It feels like sparklers!" she cried at the burning pain in her left heel. Terrified she would not be able to dance, I iced it for 20 minutes every 20 minutes all day long. But the time she had to go, she still had a limp, but she could at least walk. I was so worried she would step on it in the wrong way during the performance and let out one of her blood curdling yells. I had chills just thinking about it.

Suddenly, she heard Ben come home. "Hide from Daddy!" she whispered in a panic. I asked why and she said that she wanted it to be a surprise when she stepped on stage for the first time. Such a darling and a real performer at heart - she knows it is all about the magic!

Indigo - congratulations on your first ever dance recital. You were such a star up there on stage and we were so proud of you, but most of all, I bet you are proud of you too and that is more important than anything. Despite your little limp when you had to skip in a circle, you knew all your steps and held yourself like a real dancer. I can't wait to see what the future holds. xxx